how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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