I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
