Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
