Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
