he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
