I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
