Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
