Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
