pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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