Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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