if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
