They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
