And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
