Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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