Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
