You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
