is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We named our party play list daddy issues
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
