it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
