Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
