So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
