I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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