we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
