my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
