i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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