no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
