Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
