is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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