somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
