He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
