And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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