im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
