I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
