I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
