Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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