Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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