sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
