Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
