Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
