I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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