So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
