dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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