winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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