: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i permit you to call me
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
