some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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