I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
