my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Boobs speak an international language.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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