My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
