So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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