I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
