I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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