People with herpes should wear stickers.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
